Four years ago, a really good friend of mine passed away. I was given the greatest opportunity: to speak at her funeral. That is such an honor and a memory that I will never and could never forget. Tomorrow (or later on today if you would like to get technical), is her fourth 5K Memorial Run/Walk. In honor of that, I thought I would post what I wrote for her funeral.
Melissa was a very special friend and person. She was friendly and caring towards everyone. She was always there for someone if they needed help. She was such a brave and courageous person, which made her a fun person. She was not afraid to go somewhere with a fake mustache, and she did that a lot. She loved to make people happy, and to make them laugh. She was always doing things to help others, and she was the most selfless person I ever knew. Melissa helped me a lot, and was always there if I needed to talk. She also showed me how important it is to have an open mind, and to look at things from different perspectives. I'll never forget all the fun we had and I won't forget her. Melsa was the most amazing person in the world to me, and that will never change.
I also made her a promise. I promised her that I would stop drinking and using drugs. After she died, I didn't keep that promise, but I am currently working on keeping it now. I wrote a promise on the back of a picture of a sunset and I put it in her coffin. I never told anyone this, and no one ever read this before, but this is what I wrote:
My gift to you has meaning burried so deep, only you can find it. My gift is a promise, a promise that you've always wanted all along. You told me that you wanted me to have dreams and a future. Before now, I never thought about my future but you made me realize how much I wanted one. You've given me so much, Melsa, and I hope that this is promise is sufficient. You've given me the abilities to love and trust other people, but yet you've given me a skeptical attitude to combat the greedy, self centered masses. You've opened my mind and my heart, and for that I'll never forget you. I don't think that you could ever know how much you helped me, or how much I love you. And I don't think that I could ever put my gratitude down in words. I love you, and you'll always be in my heart, and whenever I see that sun set, I'll think of you- when the time for dreaming starts. Love, Chels.
I remember the day when she shook me and told me that she wanted me to have dreams and a future, that memory will never fade. She always wanted the best for me and the rest of our friends. I was told that she would cry a lot over my friends and me, because of all the drinking and drugs we did. At that time we only smoked pot. I feel so guilty over that, I never wanted her to cry. She is my main motivator in my sobriety, and I'd like to say that I will never drink again- just for her. But as I've been learning it's one day at a time. I broke my promises before but I am determined to keep it now.
When I think back to when she first died, I can remember the heartbreak. I can remember how I was on the floor of my bedroom, crying and unable to move. I never experienced death before, and this was a rude awakening to the facts of life. Now I can think back on our time together and the pain isn't as bad. I can see in myself how much I have healed.
I am just really lucky to have been able to know such an amazing person, and I am comforted to know, and to feel that she is still with me, every step of the way in my ridiculous journey. And for that, I love you, Melsa.
No comments:
Post a Comment